Sometimes when a child hears too many multi-step directions you can see that child processing in their mind. The poor child is running through everything they were just told and trying to make sense of it. Kind of like a computer being told too many things at once...that dumb little hour glass becomes visual and you think "crud...this is going to take forever" It's a sweet surprise when it takes just a few seconds and a disappointment when after you use the bathroom, get a drink, eat your ice cream, text a friend and it's still "processing".
Sometime I feel like that child or computer. "Processing...processing...processing" said in a monotone voice like a GPS...
I had a day like that today. There was so much good stuff in it I just wish I could have Tivo'ed it so when I'm through processing one part I can slowly transition to the next and pause when I need to. Alas, I got one shot at today.
I struggle with anxiety a bit. Perhaps it's genetic, though my parents do not share in this struggle, or perhaps it is due to life experience. Who knows, doesn't matter. When someone says "The Bible says not to worry" I want to deck 'em. Like it's that easy. I try not to worry. I pray about it. But what hits me and stops me from praying sometimes is the fact that others in third world countries are dying at this moment. Where is their comfort? Don't they have every reason to be terrified of the future?
I don't in any way want to trivialize what others go through but a wise person opened my eyes to a different perspective. This world is not all their is. If it is...That would be cause to worry. But there is something greater for us than just this world. My worries are so centralized on the here and now. My eyes are not seeing clearly. I am so focused on worldly things. When those worldly things disappear I find myself feeling lost. I don't mean to fall into that trap.
One of my favorite songs to play on the guitar (okay...I don't play well...) is
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace.
Processing...processing...processing...
I'm not through processing. These are just thoughts held together by memories of the day.
