I feel like there is probably a Weird Al song about this...

Oh technology, why do you plague me like you do?

You wait until unassuming me has not backed up my hard-drive in over a year.  You lurk in the shadows waiting, waiting until I'm most vulnerable, until I have uploaded every single picture ever taken of my 6 month-old precious baby...and then BOOM!  You retreat into the darkness, like Gollum and his "precious".  But I've fooled you!  The best pictures are still on facebook and shutterfly, and printed in albums in my living room.  Mwahahaha.  I have crushed you, you first world problem, you!  Dozens of memory cards have not yet been erased.  Wedding pictures, newborn pictures are on CDs...you think you got me.  You can't win!!

I'll bet Weird Al has a song about hard drives crashing.  I would find that humorous about now.



It is a bummer though.  But let's be real, my husband and baby are so much better than the 2D version.  I have the real thing.  I was telling Wes how I was bummed that I don't have pictures of us from the last 7 years just hanging out.  "We have so much time to hang out" he responds.  How true. 

Over the years God has been reminding me how it's not mine-material things, and now he reminds me yet again.  The pictures and videos don't matter and there is so much time to make more memories.



Josiah's Journal Entry #2

a haiku

i do what I want

i scoff at mommy's schedule

you can't make me sleep

Observations since daddy's departure:

Mommy drinks a whole pot of coffee now.

Stop.Taking.Pictures.

She may try to tell me when to eat and when to sleep, but here...here on my throne of toys, where I can stand, where I am easily 2 feet tall without her help, I am king.

Speaking of sleep, I figured out a new game.  It's hil-a-rious.  Mom puts me down and as soon as I see the light disappear from the closing door, I roll over.  I wave to mom in the camera...as much as my undeveloped motor skills allow and whine a little to see how long until she comes to get me.  Today this went on for close to 30 minutes.  But what started out as a game quickly got out of control.  Suddenly I couldn't STOP rolling over. It's like my body just wouldn't listen.  I tried to tell it, Stop, I'm tired, knock it off, I want to sleep, but it's like it had a mind of its own.  That was rough.  

But other than that, uh...I like my feet.  Feet are the best.

my daddy comes home Friday

we miss him dearly

the coffee is gone

"Of Motherhood and Me"

4 Months Old

I thought babies meant constant crying, vomit, and poop.

There are days...there are certainly days...

I thought it meant no personal time-ever.  No time to read a book, talk to a friend on the phone, or chat with my husband.

There are weeks that leave me stranded on the island of "Everything goes out the window because baby needs you", but it's because Wes and I are the only two people in the entire world who have been entrusted with Josiah and he NEEDS us with everything in him RIGHT NOW.

Those first few weeks I thought "I can't do this.  I don't sleep, I can barely function, I haven't eaten more than one meal a day in 3 days".  But thanks to the help of my amazing husband, great friends, and fabulous family, that went away...or at least wasn't so heightened.  

Precious lessons I've learned in 4 months 

"Of Motherhood and Me..."

Disclaimer - These lessons pertain to our family.  Every family is different.  Every baby is different.

A schedule saved my life.  

I was told early on that even thinking of going on a schedule before 4 or 5 months was useless.  After a very difficult day one month in, I mean tears from morning to night (and he was unhappy too) I decided that we were going to go for it.  Three days later it was like magic.  I like structure and apparently my baby does too.  I've actually finished books!  Wes and I have had conversations!  And I've had hour-long conversations on the phone!

Structure is my friend.

After seeing a really cool MOPS project from a friend, I decided to make one of my own.  It has helped to ease the 4 o'clock stress of "what am I making for dinner??" as J is crying because he's hungry, the dishes haven't been done, and my phone is ringing.

It is not failure to say "It's hard".

I was a bit of a wreck those first few weeks.  I am thankful for friends who could see through the unintentional facade and stopped over in between services on Sundays or made a Target run for me knowing what I needed without even asking.  Medicinal help to even out the emotions and hormones was what helped bring me back to Earth.  This is the biggest transition we'll ever go through.  I take advil for a headache...I don't always just suffer through when I need nyquil, so yes, I'm going to treat the imbalance that giving birth has done to my body.

I ask for advice, but don't compare.

I am constantly asking friends what they did when "fill in the blank".  That is the GREAT thing about having community.  We tried what this person did, didn't work.  We tried what this person did, didn't work either.  Ah, yes, what this friend did worked for us too.  It's wonderful to hear "it'll happen to you too, he WILL sleep 12 hours eventually".  What a wonderful thing to be encouraged.  I am so thankful for community.

I would never make it if it weren't for the Lord and his blessing of an incredibly husband.

Enough said.

Fourth of July shenanigans and little voices in my head.

Fourth of July fun!

We're excited for next year when Josiah can go get the candy...we're taking a 25% cut.  

Our little space was surrounded by news vans covering the Arlington Heights parade.  We got interviewed by Craig Dellimore from WBBM radio.  That was kind of fun.  Except Wes thought I lied to Craig Dellimore about having sunscreen.  Pssh.  We had sunscreen.

A nice family was next to us.  I joked with the mom about parents taking a cut of the candy.  This started a conversation about all of the food dyes in candy.  To be quite honest, I don't care that much because I would drive myself crazy with what is considered healthy today and how we're all going to get cancer and die if I feed my kids something that was kept in plastic #5.  I want to be aware and using good judgement, but not crazy.  Anyway, what was interesting to me was that she was justifying her kids getting candy from the parade by saying they would be making crafts with them instead.  She didn't need to justify.  Candy is awesome.  I wouldn't have judged her if she told me her kids were going to have it for dinner.  Then I started to think about all of the things I try to justify to people, who quite frankly, probably don't even care.  Why do I do that?  Because I'm too concerned with what people think.

Josiah is cranky... 

what I say -"he skipped a nap today, sorry!" 

what I think people think "what a bad cranky baby, remind me never to go over to the Johnson's."

I didn't return a voicemail within 48 hours... 

what I say-"New baby, crazy-busy life, so sorry!" 

what I think people think "she is so self-absorbed with the baby that she can't even return a phone call?"

We're late arriving somewhere...

what I say - "He needed to be change just as we were leaving, sorry!" 

what I think people think "another new family that won't ever be on time for anything again."

Wearing a new shirt that someone comments on...

what I say - "I didn't buy it, it was a gift" (most likely from my thoughtful and generous mom).

what I think people think "I thought they were on a budget, why does she go out shopping?"

Ugh.  One of the bigger struggles in my life.

3 Months!

Oh hey, guess who's 3 months old?  And teething?  

Each month is more exciting than the last and teething or not, he's still our sweet little boy.

This month is even more exciting because Wes is full-time as of this week.  What a shift for this little Johnson family.  We were used to having daddy at our beck and call so now we will have to adjust to sharing him a bit more.  :)  We are so thankful for the way God has shifted and molded the desires of our hearts over these last half a dozen years.  When we got married, we thought it was only a matter of time until we were done quickly with TEDS and moving out of state.  But to borrow the wise words from our HEART musical this year "God's ways are higher than mine...God's ways are perfectly designed".  We are so thankful for the church family we have and the way they have loved us and helped us grow.  There is no where else we would rather be.

So that's us in a nutshell.  Changes, changes, changes, and looking forward to a great summer!

Josiah's Journal Vol 1

5:22AM
Morning...I love MORNINGS.  They couldn't hear me so I sang louder.  I LOVE MORNINGS.  COME SHARE THIS MORNING WITH ME!! Eventually I got Mom's attention.

6:45AM
Down for nap #1...but I didn't WANT to go for a nap.  I love MORNINGS!  They just don't get it...so I had to sing them the song of my people... "WAAAAA".

9:30AM
I watched mom move clothes all over the house- from her bedroom to downstairs then back upstairs again.  She was giddy, mumbling some intelligible phrase like "I love laundry".  I don't get it.

12:00PM
Woke up from nap #2 and Mom's hands were covered in paint.  Guess she has too much time on her hands now that summer is here.  She needs a hobby instead of painting any old trinkets we have lying around.

1:00PM
My friend, Isabelle, came to play!  We didn't get a great picture together today so here is one from Sunday when we met for the first time.

5:15PM

Woke up from nap number #4  Mom's skin is barely visible underneath the paint on her hands.  She REALLY needs a hobby.  Wait...where's my stuffed elephant...she better not have painted my stuffed elephant!!

5:30PM

Mom discovered I'm ticklish.  I'm doomed.

6:30PM

Mom got bored and I paid the price.  She cushioned a laundry basket and slid me around in it while making the most obnoxious race car noises.    This is me trying to signal her to stop and put me down over there.

Clearly she does not read baby signs.

Oy Vei.  Someone save me.  This is my life on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Sleeping Habits of the Young and Restless

He's a tummy sleeper.
(the two below were taken with my phone, hence the terrible quality.)

Apparently armpit aroma replaces "soothing lullaby".

My mind races with all the captions I could use here.

The other morning I found him on top of his sleep-sack.  I'm not sure how he accomplished this.  I watched him, from what friends have dubbed, the "J-cam" one day, and he looked like an angry butterfly trying to get out of his chrysalis.  

Wes and I are adjusting well.  We're in a groove.  Josiah is smiling more and it's fun to try to get him to smile while he's upset.  It really confuses him.

He's in 6 month PJ's and 3-6 everything else.  Wowza.  They really don't wear clothes for very long, do they?

One of my favorite chores to do now is laundry.  I'm serious.  I just love making his clothes smell so clean, folding his cute little outfits and onesies, and putting them away.  Sometimes when he's just barely spit up on an outfit I take it off so we can put on a new one and the old has to go in the laundry.  It's sick, I know. He's like my little doll.  I told Wes where the cute outfits were in his room (clothes are separated by onesies and outfits) and he looked at me like "why would I ever need to know that?".  It's such a girl-thing to care about clothes.  He'll spit up on it before the end of the day so why do we even bother?  Because it's ADORABLE!

I ran out to do errands one afternoon and when I came home, J was back in PJ's.  I think it was 1 in the afternoon.  Wes's logic is sound.  He'll end up in PJ's anyway, why are we putting him in complicated clothes with buttons and snaps?  Because it's ADORABLE!

Cloth diapering, early mornings, and coffee!

Prior to Josiah, just like any couple, we talked about ways to save after baby.  I told Wes I was willing to try cloth diapering.  A few weeks ago I bit the bullet and bought a few to start.  For those of you expecting safety pins etc, this is what we're working with...

Cute, right?  I call this one the "Mickey Mouse" diaper.  

After a few hours of research, I landed on Charlie Banana.  Other brands looked perfectly fine and affordable, but I liked the feature for CB that allows you to use disposable inserts.  "Disposable inserts?!  What's the point of that?  Isn't that just like a disposable diaper?"  Well sure, you could look at it that way.  But if decide to use these more than just part time, then we have an option when we travel or when he is in the nursery, etc.  One of the other many great things about this diaper is that it's one size, meaning as he gets bigger the diaper will still fit because it's adjustable.

Let's look at affordability.  Pampers is our choice brand for disposable (fits him well).  A box of 100 diapers is $24.99 at Target + tax.  Let's just say J goes through 8 diapers in a 24 hour period.  That box of 100 diapers is used up in less than 2 weeks.  So we're looking at a cost of $50+ a month for diapers.  After 3 years that's closer to $2,000 (again, very conservative).  I realize as babies get older they don't go as often, but think about all of those times you put a new diaper on and after a rather disturbing noise 2 minutes later you have to change the diaper again!  The other day I went through 3 diapers in 2 minutes.  How is that even possible?!

If I buy CB in packs of 6, they are between $100-$120.  If J goes 8 times a day, I would probably want at least 16 diapers in my reserve.  The liners are $10.99 for 100.  These are the only things that need "restocking".  If I bought 3 packs of 6 CB's and enough liners for three years, I'd be spending around $1,300.  Baby 2 comes along, assuming baby 1 is potty trained at this time, and I am only adding the cost of liners while I am adding another $2,000 for starting over with disposable.  A family with 3 children is spending $6,000 on diapers at least.  Combine our two cars and the net worth isn't $6,000.

Granted, it can be gross because, let's face it, babies can be gross.  Since we're only doing this part time, I try to be strategic about when I use the cloth diaper.  Disposable diapers are way more convenient and  it's really NBD for anyone else to change the diaper.  Honestly, I'm a fan. 

But he is seriously cute in his CB.

It's not for everyone and perhaps I'll decide it's not for us in a few months, but for now, I don't mind cleaning them so it's working for us.  But I TOTALLY get that it's not for everyone.  Some things work for other families but I've found they don't work for us and there is no judgement here!  Just information.

On another note, my baby is 2 months old!

I've been back at work for a little while now and J gets to spend time with daddy, grandma, and a good friend.  I am very thankful he is in such good hands.  After I lost my mind early on, I decided to implement Baby Wise.  Best. Decision. Ever.  Within 3 days it was like clockwork.  It makes it easier for those taking care of him while Wes and I can't and it makes it easier to plan our day.

I love my mornings with him.  We play, then he goes down for his morning nap before I leave for work so I have a chance to drink my coffee, read the Bible, or get some work done for HEART or the business.  I am a morning person so the fact that J wakes up in the morning at 6, works perfectly for me.

It's a beautiful thing.  

Well, for friends and family faraway, I hope this gives you a glimpse of how we're doing.  :)

Our Life as a Family of 3

Clearly I'm not much of a blogger, but for friends and family far away who are curious about how we're doing over here-there's much to catch up on.
We had a baby...he's cute.

Everyone says he looks like Wes.  I just think he looks like a baby, a really cute baby.

On a whim around month three, we decided that we wouldn't find out the gender of our baby.  Our decision was met with "Don't you want to be prepared?" and "Oh, I could NEVER do that" from people.  1) No, we don't want to be prepared.  Not knowing the gender means we don't know if we're supposed to buy diapers or make them go outside.  Oh puhleeeze.  2) Yes you could.  You just chose not to.

Pregnancy wasn't an awful experience, being sick in the morning wasn't my favorite and having to eat the MOMENT I got hungry was annoying.  I never felt like I was "glowing" or if I was it was just the sun reflecting off of my greasy non-make-uped face.  However, being pregnant in winter is great.  You're always warm when everyone else is freezing and comfy sweaters are currently in style-win!

March 8 (1 day after due date)
After attending a class at church, I came home and felt somewhat strong contractions.  Within a few hours they were a mere 3-5 minutes apart and I thought I was going to rip in two.  "It could take 20-30 hours since it's your first", said the Dr, "stay at home and comfortable as long as you can".  GREEEEAT.  A half hour after that phone call we were on our way to the hospital...I don't like pain.  He was born 5 hours after checking in.  Whew!  Not wasting any time, I knew I was going to like this kid.

Now we're almost 2 months in.  Life is good...but I feel myself getting crunchier with every passing day.

I got some "are you crazy" looks when I mentioned that I wanted to try cloth diapering very part-time.  So stay tuned to hear how that's going...So far I LOVE our Charlie Banana diapers.  Seriously, I want collect all the different prints and colors like some people collect shoes.